Unevenly Sunburnt, Naked-Faced, Ready for Date?

So there I was, lying on the beach with some minimal sunscreen on. Two hours ahead of me, a free, small and intimate set by a musician named Kevin Devine; in the evening a tentative date with an intriguing fellow.

A friend had suggested that for some color on the cheeks, a little burn on the face could do some good. Why not the rest of my body, I asked myself. And Self said, “Yea! Great idea”, throwing my plan to remain fair-skinned out the window.

We all know how this ends, right? Not quite.

An hour later, I got up from the beach, looked at my phone and pressed for time, was forced to attend the concert dusted with the scent of Long Beach beach dirt, suntan oil, and activated deodorant.

This unique perfume, coupled with a naked, sand-and-towel-textured half of my face nearly caused me to abandon my plan of attending the show. But I thought of how stupid and vain I’d feel if I let that stop me, and therefore went.

Besides, I felt better when I explained to two friendly-type strangers that, had I known the set would begin about 20 minutes late, I’d have had time to shower on my way back from the beach.

I wanted to hide behind sunglasses. But I’m not that rapper who changed his name four times so that I can’t remember how he was best known in the first place. I’m not him, or Pitbull, or any other guy who walks around indoors with sunglasses on. I’ve tried this every single make-up-free day but feel like a douche each time I find myself at a check-out counter with people trying to x-ray vision their way past my tinted lenses.

So I braved the bareness of my face, and the boldness of my beach baked scent. The set at Fingerprints was awesome. Kevin Devine was such a funny dude and very interactive with his audience. Good times. I will definitely plan to see him again in the future.

But when I say beach baked, I mean it. Only, unevenly so.

Somehow, despite my unstrapping my top to avoid tan lines, my back got the most color on the 15 minute walk to the music venue, blazing the cut of my racer-back dress top into the space between my shoulders. My backside was burnt lobster pink and I wasn’t sure I could even pull off a skirt to show off my legs (the fronts were fine); I must have missed some spots on my arms because I had splotches of red. And within just a half an hour on each side of my body, I had a heat rash.

Yes. Because a heat rash and an uneven sunburn just before a first date when I’ve warned the man I’m not wearing make-up for the month is exactly what I wanted. Super sexy.

I weighed the situation. Would I go on an interview without make up? Ehhhhhhhhh. Would I go on an interview without make up AND an uneven sunburn? Hell no. Could I fix the sunburn? No. Could I fix my face? Yes! Yes I could.

And I did. I cheated. But not, like, all the way. Just 90%. I used my tinted moisturizer by Laura Mercier instead of my full-coverage foundation by Dior. I did everything else, though.

As I applied my make-up a nagging feeling crept up. I hadn’t heard back an official time from this guy. We were kind of playing it by ear based on his busy work schedule. And it struck me that perhaps I was cheating for no reason. Moments later I received the text of doom.

Date postponed. This man was extremely apologetic, and has vowed to make it up to me… so he gets a second chance. However, before granting him the opportunity to make it up to me, I playfully chastised him saying “I put my face on for you!”

But really I had put my face on for me.  

Off with the mask again, today (with a washed face and some remnants of mascara hehe).