Making Up With Makeup

It felt like Christmas Day. I woke bright-eyed and bushy tailed and sprung from my bed like a Pop-Tart from a toaster in a 1990s commercial. But it wasn't Christmas, it was the 31st of May, and I had just gone 30 days without makeup.

I have said in a previous entry that what i feel I have missed most about putting makeup on in the mornings is the time that I spend with myself while looking in the mirror, complimenting myself. This is precisely what I was looking forward to on the 31st.

I smiled at myself in excitement as I spread the foundation across my face, covering the redness of the creases of my nose, the darker circles beneath my deep-set eyes. I grinned as I gave my usually pale cheeks some blush and put numerous coats of mascara onto my lashes. And when i was done I felt a little embarrassed. My usual look felt so dramatic! I felt more different-looking than I expected I would. I wasn't opposed to this, rather more surprised by it.

In reflection of my month without makeup, this adventure ended up being more profound than I expected. 

I think the largest realization has been that I have been placing so much value on appearance that I've forgotten the value of actually being present.

In the past I've arrived 30-60 minutes late to work thinking it was more important to look  good as the receptionist than it was to be there. Silly concept but it was my thought. 

I've become attached to the thinking that, as a single girl, it is important to look my best at all times in order to attract a man. Instead of being present in the moment, I've been inside my head wondering if I'm going to run into Mr. Right while grocery shopping and if I'm put together enough to draw his attention from his eggs to my face. I've been so concerned about appearances that I wouldn't have noticed I was being admired at all. And I wasn't even aware of this. 

So, here I am, having permitted myself to wear make up for three days. I've worn make up only one of them. 

Here are a few fun things to look at after 30 days of being broken up with make up now that we've been back together for three days:

-I look at myself in the mirror and in storefront windows far more often when wearing makeup than when not. I'm not sure how I feel about this just yet. There is a difference between confidence and vanity. I'll watch this the next few weeks.

-I think makeup served as a barrier between dirt and my face. I got more zits not wearing make up than I have while wearing it.

-A benefit of no makeup? When you face palm or have a hair tickle your face, you don't have to worry about makeup rubbing off and getting under your nails, and onto the surface of white things.

-I did not miss waking up with raccoon eyes due to mascara rubbing off in the night.

So that is all. I have now decided that June is a good month for giving up laziness. More on that later today.